A brief historical interlude
The reader may be wondering how an august resident's association in a typically sleepy English village
could be transformed in such a way. Meetings of the Bridley Resident's Association used to be taken up
with the usual trivia and petty disputes between neighbours. What changed all of that was a wave of
crime which coincided with the arrival of the Eastern European migrants. It would be unfair to blame
all of the theft and anti-social behaviour on the Poles but their presence did not help. A few concerned
citizens decided to form a sub-committee to discuss the issue. A general consensus emerged that the
police were either too busy or hidebound by red tape and political correctness to properly grasp the
mettle. It was at this point that one of the members voiced the opinion, inspired by too many Daily
Mail editorials no doubt, that a good birching would sort them out. His target was the young males but
from the excitement that shot through the room it was clear that not a few of the men present had
visualisde upending some pretty Polish lass and giving her bare bottom a taste of the rod. Furtive
conversations in pubs followed and before long a plan was formed.
It was proposed that the village's response would come in two waves. The local rugby team would be
involved initially. They would take offenders off to a private location and rough them up a bit. The
problem of female misbehaviour was more complex and needed to be handled sensitively but it was
agreed that it needed to be handled. Indeed there was a general consensus that if the young woman
were brought into line then the problem of male misbehaviour, inspired so often by the desire to win
some little trollop's favour, would sort itself out.
Once the rugby team had done its work many of the original civic minded residents lost interest and
returned to their daily affairs. A small group remained who were enthusiastic about dealing with female
miscreants. It was thus that the “naughty knickers club” was born.
Its rules were clear. A suspect would be identified, intelligence would be gathered and she would be
confronted with it. Should she confess, summary punishment would be dealt out on the spot and that
would be an end to it. Should she maintain her innocence in the face of all the evidence she would be
brought to the Resident's Association and cross-examined by some of the concerned local citizens.
Usually protestations of innocence led to a more thorough trashing than she would originally have
received.
In general, punishment was meant to be appropriately severe but nothing too extreme and with the
exception of a few excesses this rule was adhered to. There was one occasion near the start which led
to a very upset young Pole leaving the country in a distressed state but that was the exception rather
than the rule.
One another matter which was never discussed overtly was sex. The Bridley Association operated with
a “don't ask don't tell” policy. It was tacitly understood that normal human weakness could overcome
any man, particularly some of the younger ones but provided that the girls were not allowed to trade
sex in order to avoid their just deserts a discreet veil was drawn.
The activities of the Naughty Knickers Club were kept secret. Given the harmony that now reigned in
the village even the most dedicated local busy bodies seemed content to keep quiet.
